First Love (2009)

You didn’t stop, when I told you to stop
And there was a month when I wasn’t sure
If the next time I called you out on the road
I’d have something to say other hey pay me the money that you owe

And I would have liked it
To have something above you
To have something to own, and know I could choose to let it grow
And i would have called you, to have called you to say, that I’m in control I’ll let you know if you have to come and pick a name

oh I am a woman, well you know I’m a woman
but before I met you, I was only a kid
you said there were moments, you were frightened to break me,
but you wanted to take me, and so you did

and I will think of you now that we are apart
I hold my hand across my gut and plan to feed it with a heart
I’m not the girl who you remember from the start
I was just a baby, this is what you made me

and once you left me in the spring and twice you left in fall
and once I tried to make a life to keep myself in yours
do you think of me when you are playing the one and three in four
is country music, what your life is for?

We almost had a baby

Is all that we’ve become just nothing but hats and bags,
We’re waiting for taxi cabs, so you light cigarettes and I’m taking drags.
In the air a sea of words that didn’t come soon enough,
In my mind a railway station and a ticket stub.
And it is Easter in the town I can hear as they strike up the band,
Listening to some old man say he came back to life with a hole in his hand,

And now the Sunday School is gathered in dresses all pink and in blue,
They’re heralding angels for you. But not for me.

They’re singing,
Gloria, in excelsis, Deo, Deo.
Gloria, in excelsis, there’s no, there’s no hope.

And I am grateful for the things that you’ve tried to show to me dear
But there’s no Arcadia, no Albion, there’s no Jerusalem here,
And underneath your pastures green there’s earth and there’s ash and there’s bone
And there are things that disappear into it and then they are gone

And there are lights that hit the sky and then it is midnight again
And there is my mother my father and you and we are all impermanent
And on the green they tell their tales of how even the dead can come back,
But I don’t believe in that,

So you can keep on singing
Gloria, in excelsis, Deo, Deo,
Gloria, in excelsis, Deo, there’s no, there’s no hope.

There’s no such thing, there’s no such thing,
There’s no such thing, there’s no such thing
There’s no such thing, there’s no such thing,
There’s no such thing, there’s no such thing as ghosts.

I pray for rain because I’m trying
To find god and make him cry
Because I’m dying in a fire beneath my covers
And somewhere out across the way

You ask for salt across a plate
And you can’t find a word to say
To your own brother

And you could call me over now
And we could fix this with our mouths
But you don’t buy the farm
If you can’t afford the cow

And you say Dylan is a sentiment
That you don’t want to share
And you say you looked back in anger
And it rose to meet your stare

And you say I am not the one
Who puts the bullet to your gun
And makes it flare
And you say Dylan is a sentiment to you
And you don’t want to share

You say you’re looking for the truth
Like you got rifles in your books
But up above your parents’ roof
I saw no star tonight

Only the black from whence you came
And where they’ll send you back again
And no blue plaque will keep your name
From falling out of sight

And you can wage this war of one
And I am still the only one
Who will remember you when you are gone

And you say Dylan is a sentiment
That you don’t want to share
And you say you looked back in anger
And it rose to meet your stare

And you say I am not the one
Who puts the bullet to your gun
And makes it flare
And you say Dylan is a sentiment to you
And you don’t want to share

Oh, and all the things you talk about
But never say to me
And all the things to talk about
That I could say to you

Like reading an Italian book
From the thirteenth century
Is not that hard to do

And I am not the kind
Who puts their toe against the line
And makes it tear, but this could be the thing
That puts the blood into your skin
And keeps it there

And you say Dylan is a sentiment
That no one else will ever understand
And you say Dylan is a sentiment to you
But you are only just a man

On the museum island,
At the end of the day,
we had travelled for miles,
We had come to escape
All the space on the page
That the newspapers gave
Up to pictures and pictures of us.
As we followed the coffin
Of your famous father.
Adjusting our skirts
As we turned at the altar.
And within every word
That they’d written, was spelt out
You’d taken your last ever bus.
So skimming the surface
Of all your new money,
we skimmed the surface
Of the air as we flew.
we were out of the rain,
we were thinking that maybe
Berlin was the place to renew.

well you know what they say
About terrible hate –
It will breed something good
When it’s through.
At the end of the day,
By the Potsdamer Place
And the Brandenburg Gate,
It was you.

You have hardened completely
By the end of this story,
You have learned to look clear
Through the flash of a bulb,
When you hear your own name
From the back of a crowd,
You just straighten your gaze,
No you don’t turn around.
Oh but there was a time
At the end of the day,
We were both stood in line
At the museum display,
And you outshone the light
Under which you were bathed,
You could outshine the sky
With the look that you gave,
Oh so don’t be afraid
To look back and wave,
Now that waving is all that you do.
At the end of the day,
By the Potsdamer Place,
I am waving back at you.

So don’t be afraid
To look back and wave,
Now that waving is all that you do.
At the end of the day,
By the Potsdamer Place,
I am waving back at you.

The dream that i have is always the same
a foot falls like an echo of a step i didn’t take
and i see you coming in like you were never gone,
tell me, why did i wake?
Here in the world i was hiding from,
they’re expecting it to rain

they say that the winter clears the drains
that time heals all things
and they said that the thought of you would fade, well i see nothing change.

and the dream that i have, breaks just like the day
i walk along the shore,
i take a picture of the waves
and then i throw it to the floor,
i say why did i wake?
Here in the world there is nothing more than your absence

now the sky is turning grey
now the birds have left the bay
now time is shrinking and they
said that the thought of you would fade
well i feel nothing change.

and hey, do you remember me the way
that i remember you?
and every movement of the waves,
oh they replaced the train
all the people went away, and i feel nothing
they say that winter clears the drains
well i dream lightly.. of sunshine

I remember how we met
but your name I forget
like the door that I have kept unopened

I remember it was wet
and the swelt and the sweat
and the shelter of the bed we slept on

You were stroking me like a pet
but you didn’t own me yet
and the tape in the cassette deck was choking
Spat out a broken hallelujah

But I’ve seen the way the earth
throws its aces with a curve
You were waiting for the words
to come to yer.

Just to say that you prefer to be lonely
to be cursed
and to do the very worst you can do.

Yeah I remember you like a verse
that I didn’t want to learn
I just looked into your eyes
and I knew yer.

Now the thought of you is burnt
on my body from the first time you did rewind that line from Hallelujah.
The original Leonard Cohen version.

Well I wish I never met you that day
You said I have a room and music to play
I have a room let me show you the way
I wish that I’d never come

But now that I have, I would do it again
I would forget that I’d piss on a grave

I would forget that I’d piss on a grave
and the words as they came to my tongue were hallelujah. Hallelujah!
And the sky was so much bluer
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And the world was so much newer.

You said I have a room
at the top of the stairs
I have a room with a view
I know we all have a cross that we bear
and I’d like to show it to you.

And you left me in the light
and you met me in the light
and we only had a night between the two.

You were waiting for the worst
You were listening for a curse
but the only thing I heard was hallelujah.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And the sky was so much bluer
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And the world was so much newer.

you said I have a room
at the top of the stairs.
I have a room with a view.
I know we all have a cross that we bear
and I’d like to give it to you.

And I won’t forget how the sky was set
I said I have a place to go back to.
La La La I will have you yet
I will carry you there if I have to.

No I won’t forget no I won’t.
No I won’t forget no I won’t
No I won’t forget no I won’t
No I won’t forget no.

Woah. Woah. Woah. W-o-o-o-ah.
First love.

the day that we
took out a car in the rain
is the day you forgot how to
brake and see
how quickly the picture will change
filled with fingers and voices and teeth
i still remember holding my hand
against your face just before it was sprayed
across the radio
as it played

and you and me
are still but the scenery moves
well why would it stop just ’cause
suddenly
there’s one where there used to be two
and everything’s quiet but yo
looks like the speaker lived through the blow
still playing some compilation you made
feels like a lifetime sitting alone
so i start humming along to the tape

i always liked this singer
i remember how you were the one who told me that her name
was either mia
or m.i.a.

and i am thinking
how many hours till i’m home
how long do i stay in this place
who’s going to wash all the blood from my clothes
who’s gonna cancel my date
who’s gonna cancel my date

and i think
i always liked this singer
i remember how you were the one who told me that her name
was either mia

and i think
i always liked this singer
i remember how you were the one who told me that her name
was either mia
or m.i.a.

and the day that we
took out a car in the wet
i thought to myself that the sky was blue
as i’ve ever seen it but yet
still tinted with red

It’s harder now for me to say what you want
Until I just have an hour to kill
When the night disappears and the sky is filled

It’s almost May, the seasons change
I’ve heard on the shipping news
There has been a hurricane
Somewhere too far away to be worrying you

And it is Easter when you wake
I will wait for the sound of the strike
well I wouldn’t leave would I?
Till I saw you again in the light

And if the winds have turned today
It’s because it’s inevitable
Everyone knows the wind has to blow, woah

Edward come and sit with me,
I fell asleep and now I am afraid.
The sun came up so quick and I
Have always been suspicious of the day.
The dream I had that you were in –
Turned bad and then it finished,
And I am glad to be awake.
And glad,
To be with you,
Cause I feel safe when we’re together.

Read to me again
About the King who took
his daughter to the feast.
Tell me how she lifted up her veils
And she laid them at his feet.
Execution in her eyes,
She pointed to her prize, and said,
“I want him to be mine.”

And everyone,
Knew the man was going to lose
his head tonight.

I heard a sound,
Across the lawns,
Was like a hoof being taken from a horse.
I understand,
What you describe,
That there are things we don’t decide –
They are decided for us.
Still I would trust,
That we are safe when we’re together.

Edward, come and tell me,
Are there restaurants on Jericho today?
Look out of the window on St Giles –
Do the palaces remain?
I have woken from a sleep.
I am sure the world is different,
That it’s changed.

Edward come and tell me,
Are there restaurants on Jericho today?
I heard a sound,
Across the lawns,
Was like a wave sweeping houses
from the short.
I understand,
what you explain,
That there are things that you believe,
And you think you will see me again.

Still it remains,
That if I could,
I’d string a cord,
RIght from my stomach
Into yours.
I’d stand beside you,
The day you face the tide,
I think I could make it turn around,
Know I could make it go dry.
Cause you and I –
We are safe when we’re together.

We are safe when we’re together.
We are safe when we’re together.
We are safe when we’re together.
We are.

verything reminds me of you,
Somewhere out roaming tonight,
You fought the bottle, and I
Came out behind.
Now everything reminds me of you,
Tonight,
Oh but the fire,
Will carry less higher,
In time.

And the drinks have been drunk,
And the ships have been sunk,
And the barmaids are going to bed.
Oh but my memory,
Is alive as the sea,
Coming over the shoreline
Like a breath.

Everything reminds me of you,
Somewhere out roaming tonight,
You fought the bottle, and I
Came out behind.

You were gone in a breeze
Like the heart that was squeezing
Too tight.
Oh but the fire,
Will carry less higher,
In time.

And the drinks have been drunk,
And the ships have been sunk,
And the barmaids are going to bed.
Oh but my memory,
Is alive as the sea,
Coming over the shoreline
Like a breath.

Everything reminds me of you,
Somewhere out roaming tonight.

The city called me so I came
It isn’t mine to question what it said
I sleep until the point when I’m awake
I walk until there’s nothing left to trek
And everyone is looking for an answer
And everyone is waiting for a break
I came and I was bored of it soon after
But I had nowhere to go and so I stayed
I dreamed a lifetime of this place
It seemed an awful thing to waste
Well the morning fills my mouth up with decay
I like it, it reminds me how you taste
Sometimes I feel you rising up behind me like the wind
But I still try to look away
What will you look like when you’re old?
(What will you look like when you’re old?)
What will I do if I don’t know you?
(What will I do if I don’t know you?)
I guess that I decided not to ask the day I took the road
Down to the city as it called
Sun making silhouettes of gauze
I don’t remember you at all
The city called me and I came
It isn’t mine to question why
Sometimes the clouds will rise ahead, I hear your name
It’s like a choir in the sky
What will you look like when you’re old?
(What will you look like when you’re old?)
What will I do if I don’t know you?
(What will I do if I don’t know you?)
I guess that I decided not to know the day I took the road
Down to the city as it called
Sun making silhouettes of gauze
I don’t remember you at all
They pulled a human from my waist
It had your mouth, it had your face
I would have kept it if I’d stayed.